17th November 2000
In these enlightened days where everyone admits that birds are descended from dinosaurs - and therefore are dinosaurs, according to the principles of contemporary classification - the dinosaurs that we know and love are now known by the clunky designation of ``non-avian dinosaurs''.
Fellow dinosaur-lovers, the time has come to stamp our feet petulantly and say NO! The phrase must surely be simply ``Real Dinosaurs''.
So the next time someone comes up to you and says, ``Did you know that sparrows are dinosaurs?'', instead of responding by saying ``Yes, but they're not non-avian dinosaurs'', you can say ``They're not Real Dinosaurs''.
Scientific truth and the quest for knowledge is all very well, but sometimes a point is reached when you just have to stand up and be counted; where the only reasonable thing to do is falsify the evidence. Fellow dino-lovers, the birds-are-dinosaurs theory is beyond that point! Let us no longer allow the wonderful name of dinosaurs to be besmirched by the starling, the wren and of course the kakapo. It's time to prove that birds are not dinosaurs, reclaiming the word ``dinosaur'' for T. rex and his buddies.
Firstly, let's take a look at the so-called ``Berlin specimen'' of Archaeopteryx lithographica, a key element in the argument of those who claim that birds descended from dinosaurs:
A close look clearly shows this fossil to be nothing more than a crude forgery, the feathers having been clumsily added to an existing coelurosaurian skeleton.
Now, the ``London specimen'':
Once again, to the skilled eye, artifacts of the forgery are apparent. The preparator of this fossil, perhaps to increase its value, has cleverly grafted on a ``bird-like'' head to a coelurosaur. It's skillfully done, but does not stand up to close scrutiny.
With the myth of archaeopteryx demolished, surely it's time for the scientific community to sit up and take notice! We demand Real Dinosaurs! We will not be satisfied with birds!
Let us have no more of this ``non-avian'' nonsense. The old order has passed. The new order has come. We will not stand for the idea that Hitchcock made one of the best dinosaur films ever. We will not accept the notion of being pooped on by the dinosaurs in Trafalgar Square. We have been silent for long enough.
Birds are fluffy. Birds are cute. Birds flitter gaily about, their delicate songs infusing the twilit morning with an air of melancholy, of wistfulness; and yet - yes! - also of hope, of joy, and of a bright and better tomorrow. Whereas dinosaurs want to EAT YOUR BRAINS!
Let the world not forget it. The Campaign for Real Dinosaurs is GO!
Acknowledgement
The CRD logo was made by hacking up parts of T. Michael Keesey's Deinonychus and Emu images; the originals can be found at http://dinosauricon.com/images/deinonychus-tmk.html and http://dinosauricon.com/images/dromaius-tmk.html respectively.