Comprehension and Analysis

10th June 1989

In article <13848@dartvax.Dartmouth.EDU> dalex@eleazar.dartmouth.edu (Dave Alexander) writes:

My little sister once sent a letter to my grandmother by addressing it "Grandma Rainier, Oregon". Needless to say, it got there.

Funnily enough, I once sent a comatose penguin to my deranged Papa Noo-noo (who, at the time, lived about three doors (and about as many houses) away from me), with the words "Umbilical fangs? Not likely!" flayed into the soft epidermal layer just under its left wing .. backwards .. in Sanskrit (the wing was then stapled to the torso of the aforementioned parcel). It never reached its intended destination, and three months later an unripe guava was blown up by unspecified members of the Papua New Guinean Anti-Exotic Fruit Organisation -- a reincarnation of the now defunct Papua New Guinean Anti-Miscellaneous Fruits Of An Exotic Origin, Such As Guavas, Organisation.

A sad reflection on today's postal system, an unreasonable demand upon a perfectly adequate one, or a chaotic meander through the prose of some intermittently conscious greengrocer in Coventry? This is the question which we must endeavour to answer. Other subsidiary questions which you might consider are:

1. Why a penguin?
2. Why was the wing STAPLED to the torso of the article?
3. Why was the penguin sent at all?
4. Does Papa Noo-noo have any conception of the word "terrorist" and it's incongruous relationship to the subject of `shortest possible addresses'?
5. Does the penguin read Sanskrit? Backwards?
6. Is the victimisation and seemingly senseless slaughter of exotic fruits (such as guavas) likely to be an increasing trend in emerging Pacific cultures?
7. Does modern affluent (and effluent) Western society have any moral obligation to the exotic fruit population? Penguins?
8. Is the suggested door-to-house ratio of 1:1 applicable to, say, streets of houses that have three front doors each? What assumptions does the author appear to be making?
9. A causal link between the non-deliverable status of the parcel and the destruction of an exotic fruit is implied but no detail is given. Does a viable explanation exist for this?
10. The evolutionary rate of terrorist organisations -- their names in particular -- is currently very high. Would you agree this might not be an instance of sedentary discontentment, interpreted on a collective level? Do you understand the question?

Disassociate into groups of precisely three and discuss the issues raised in this article. Time allowed: 60 minutes.